A Poinciana Parkway man wanted to “file a missing persons report for his wife, who was staying with family and no longer wanted to speak to him. The man said she had to come home, because he didn’t know how to cook for himself.”

Our exciting new February header honors gaffe-prone Vice President Joe Biden. In preparation for the distinction, Biden made two crucial gaffes in a recent speech in Indiana, where he both confused the gender of Senator Beverly Gard and referred to the corporation hosting the event as “Enron.”