Another unfortunately-named politician.

Just wait for the NEXT sheriff.

Anti-Bus ad on a Bus

Anti-Bus ad on a Bus, originally uploaded by FAILocracy.

I designed this advertisement by request for an organization that was opposing an expansion of the public transit system in Grand Rapids Michigan (after discovering that it would be cheaper and more fuel-efficient to just give all the riders free cab rides).

The creators of the campaign wanted to put the ad on a billboard, but the billboard company rejected the ad as disparaging. But, when they submitted the ad to appear on the bus itself, free speech and fairness regulations forced them to accept it.

ASSMAN for Senate!

I snapped this photo while driving by the other day. Rodney Glassman, Arizona candidate for US senate, has an unfortunate name. Even more unfortunate is the fact that his center-aligned campaign signs are easily-vandalized to appear left-aligned.

Crashed Police Vehicles – WInsford

Crashed Police Vehicles – WInsford, originally uploaded by Shricthism.

I believe we have found where they go to die.

Soldiers doing—jumping jacks?

I’d stay home sick those days.

LMS Anal Exams, originally uploaded by nosajeel99.

LMS Anal Exams

“A firm incentive”

A firm incentive, originally uploaded by bathroomgirl.

This goes in the “unfortunately-named politicians” category.

Sure, this excuse flies, but “My dog ate my homework,” doesn’t?

Also, while not technically a sentence, the headline ends with a preposition. A preposition is something you should never end a sentence with.

Ride the S.L.U.T.

According to seatlepi.com:

There’s a story going around South Lake Union, but a spokeswoman for Vulcan, Paul Allen’s development company, says it’s just an urban legend.

That aside, the story that the neighborhood’s streetcar line now under construction was called the South Lake Union Trolley until the powers that be realized the unfortunate acronym — SLUT — seems here to stay.

Officially, it’s now the South Lake Union Streetcar. But the trolley name already has caught on, and in the old Cascade neighborhood in South Lake Union, they’re waiting for the SLUT.

At the Kapow! Coffee house on Harrison Street, they’re selling T-shirts that read “Ride the SLUT.”

Basil Marceaux.com’s primary results!!

Palin’s hand said WHAT? Dick Cheney, Jimmy Hoffa, and Pheromones!

I have to cover a lot in this episode. First, Sarah Palin has been caught reading notes from her hand again. Second, is Dick Cheney dead? Third, Jimmy Hoffa’s body has been found! Last, a pheromone can make you irresistible.

“I’m kevin breen from FAILocracy.com, and I’ve got a lot to talk about today. First, a brief story about Sarah Palin. Next, is Dick Cheney dead? Then, as a result of the biggest scoop in my journalistic career: I will reveal the location of missing labor organizer Jimmy Hoffa’s body. After that, researchers at Harvard medical school have stumbled upon a pheromone that will make people irresistible to the opposite sex that can be created with simple household ingredients.

First, I just want to get the palin story out of the way.
Sarah Palin was caught reading notes on economic policy from her hand on Fox News Sunday. This isn’t the first time Palin has been embarrassed when footage of notes on her hand got out. I’m just going to move on to the next story because this is just embarrassing for her and her party…”

Cop cut out on patrol to watch “Bridget the Midget” at a strip club

From bostonherald.com:

Hitting up a strip joint while on duty to catch “Bridget the Midget” do her act was a “stupid decision” that has cost a Stoughton crimefighter his job and reputation, the repentant cop told the Herald yesterday.

That quick peek inside Alex’s gentleman’s club, along with other infractions, forced Officer Richard P. Bennett, 28, to hand in his badge.

Bennett was quoted saying, “A part of me wants to say, ‘Where was the news when I pulled someone out of a burning car last year?” You fuck one goat…

Top 16 Basil Marceaux moments!

This is a collection of clips from everyone’s favorite politician, Basil Marceaux (DotCom). He wants you to carry a gun. He wants you to sell grass. He wants you to have a nice day!

Basil Marceaux is a gift to FAILocracy.

As of this writing, Basil MarceauxDotCom is polling apparently polling around 1%, for the gubernatorial election in Tennessee, which means he’s not beating the margin of error, but it also means that, when pollsters asked people who they were voting for, somebody said Basil MarceaxDotCom (or just Basil Marceax).

In his own words:

“I’m Basil Marceaux.com, the Republican candidate for governor. I’d like to recall all permits and registrations for guns. Everyone carry guns. If you kill someone though, you get murdered, you go to jail. And, uh, I’d like to put… plant grass or vegetation across the state or any vacant lot, and sell it for gas, so we can use it, use it for our expenses.

Also I wanna remove all gold fringed flags from the state, and fly the real flag with three stripes. I also want to stop traffic stops. Set it up like the Supreme Court ruled in Knowles versus Iowa – you can’t find innocent car, you can’t look. I want youse all to vote for Basil Marceaux. I want you to say a pledge of allegiance to a republicdom in the morning when you come out, and we all pray to God… and say Amen… and… everyone have a nice day. And I’ll see y’all at the polls.

Thank you… Have a nice day.”

Your drinking water contains almost no deadly toxins!

This is the actual Drinking Water Quality Report City of St. George, Utah.

“We’re pleased report that in 2009, except for arsenic, your tap water met all US Enviromental Protection Agency (EPA) and state drinking water health standards.”