DEA agent shoots himself in the foot during demonstration.

Judge Ball: Masturbator’s testimony was “self serving”

Unlike the good folks at the FAILblog, who are frequently duped in to publishing onion-esque articles on their front page, I made sure to check to make sure this was a legitimate article before posting.

Funny Jan Brewer “Pause” Parody Commercial

JSLAB sent me a message requesting/demanding that I do something about Arizona Governor Jan Brewer’s recent gaffe. A few hours later, I finished this campaign commercial, highlighting Brewer’s pause and warnings about beheadings in Arizona.

Until yesterday, I lived in Arizona, and I can personally say that I have not been beheaded once. Still, just to be safe, I’ll be going to Vegas tomorrow to meet up with my brother, and we’ll be driving to Michigan.

Prank calls to racist school!

Isn’t it about time that I, Kevin R. Breen of FAILocracy did something, I don’t know, HEROIC? Yes. It is time.

Below is an image of the official election rules for Nettleton Middle School’s 2010 officer elections.

You can see more details about this in my write-up at When Falls the Coliseum.

Campaign ad including actual quote, “I wish it weren’t, but it’s a free country,” from Mass. governor.

Authorities pursue man running with scissors

Another great argument in the gay marriage debate…

“The only GAY marriage is between a man and a woman.”

Soldiers doing—jumping jacks?

I’d stay home sick those days.

LMS Anal Exams, originally uploaded by nosajeel99.

LMS Anal Exams

“A firm incentive”

A firm incentive, originally uploaded by bathroomgirl.

This goes in the “unfortunately-named politicians” category.

Sure, this excuse flies, but “My dog ate my homework,” doesn’t?

Also, while not technically a sentence, the headline ends with a preposition. A preposition is something you should never end a sentence with.

Basil Marceaux.com’s primary results!!

Cop cut out on patrol to watch “Bridget the Midget” at a strip club

From bostonherald.com:

Hitting up a strip joint while on duty to catch “Bridget the Midget” do her act was a “stupid decision” that has cost a Stoughton crimefighter his job and reputation, the repentant cop told the Herald yesterday.

That quick peek inside Alex’s gentleman’s club, along with other infractions, forced Officer Richard P. Bennett, 28, to hand in his badge.

Bennett was quoted saying, “A part of me wants to say, ‘Where was the news when I pulled someone out of a burning car last year?” You fuck one goat…

Top 16 Basil Marceaux moments!

This is a collection of clips from everyone’s favorite politician, Basil Marceaux (DotCom). He wants you to carry a gun. He wants you to sell grass. He wants you to have a nice day!